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Salt
An action movie that defies physics and expectations
Salt is one of the most surprising films I have seen in quite some time. It's not that I expected it to be bad but I went into it (with my brother) looking forward to a fun, harmless action film. What I got was that and much, much more. It's such a relief and a breath of fresh air nowadays to see an action movie done well since, sadly, that's a rarity. Fortunately, Salt is not only a good film but a great one that just barely misses the mark on being a classic.
The premise is fairly simple. A CIA agent named Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie) is accused of plotting to assassinate the Russian president. She sets out on a quest to prove her innocence. We the viewers are left with some burning questions. Is Salt really planning to do this? If not, who could be setting her up? Why does this woman's last name sound like what I put on my popcorn?
Fortunately, the movie answers all these questions, save for the last one. We find out what's really going on as the action intensifies and Jolie's lips get more and more pouty. There may be more to the matter at hand than initially expected. In fact for someone not to be surprised by the twists that the movie deals out that person would have had to cease breathing. If there's anybody out there who could give a care less about any of that, let me assure you that there's plenty more here to keep you watching till the end.
Jolie is just fantastic and I do not say that that often about her. In my opinion this is one of her strongest performances to date. I enjoy several of her films but although she is gorgeous to behold I just do not find her all that interesting of an actress. In Salt, she is one of the main reasons I kept watching. And Liev Schreiber certainly helps. I think he is one of the most underrated actors in the world today and that may be because of his role selections since he had the unfortunate task of recently starring in the moribund Repo Men and the hilariously ridiculous X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The first two things that come to my mind when thinking about him are the Scream franchise and The Omen. If I'm not mistaken, he was also in Kate & Leopold with Meg Ryan and Hugh Jackman. Anyway, as you can see, he doesn't have a knack for picking memorable roles. He's certainly accomplished that here. The other actor that comes to mind upon my recollection of the film is Chiwetel Ejiofor, who is also good.
But even with all this praise, Salt is far from perfect. Some of the scenes are ridiculous. The one that had Salt leaping onto the roof of a passing semi comes to mind. There's no way that's even close to being based in reality. I had some reserves about how the film had the tendency to rush into some of the twists. These things come from left field but what I wanted was to have my mind blown and I did, but not always. I also was a little letdown by the ending. What is the purpose of setting up a sequel? There's nothing left to explain. I know that a screenplay could easily be constructed for Salt 2 or Pepper or whatever it will be called, but would it be necessary? I think that will depend on whether or not the first film is successful (which it definitely has turned out to be) and I think that's a shame because I wish that the film could be judged on substance and not sustenance. This also leads me to believe that that easily-constructed screenplay I spoke of could turn out to be predictable and sloppy. Let's hope that's not the case.
I thought I had all the tricks figured out. I thought no movie could ever make me shake my head in disbelief at a twist again. Turns out I was mistaken. Salt has made me see the light. I was blown away by the technical superiority of it and the stunning action sequences. It's one of the best movies of 2010.
Score: :D:D:D:D1/2
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The Last Exorcism
It most certainly will not be, I can assure you
Oh gosh, how disappointed am I with the conclusion of "The Last Exorcism"? Pretty damn disappointed, I tell you.
But let's get to the rest of the review first.
The Last Exorcism is shot in that fake documentary style that I like so much that has been incorporated into enjoyable movies like Cloverfield, The Blair Witch Project, and Paranormal Activity and even shit like Quarantine. It focuses on a preacher named Cotton Marcus (I laughed at the name) and his complete and utter disbelief in the existence of demons. He's even started to lose his faith in God. He tells us from the start that sometimes he thinks that the only reason he is still preaching is because it is what he was brought up doing.
He receives a letter from a farmer named Louis Sweetzer who lives in Louisiana. In the letter, Louis explains that his livestock is being killed and he suspects that his daughter, Nell, may be the one doing it because she is possessed by a demon. Marcus finds this to be laughable but still decides to go check it out in order to turn a profit.
When he arrives, he is warned by Nell's brother, Caleb, to "turn around and head back from where he came". This is not because of the fact that he's scared of what Nell may do but instead because he's frightened of what he may do to Marcus if he finds out that he is bullshitting (which he is). Marcus ignores him and continues to the farm. He meets Louis and then Nell and then fakes an exorcism that Caleb instantly recognizes as a farce and then Nell is supposedly "healed" even though she's not really because some strange things start happening afterwards. Anyway, I'm not going to ruin the entire plot for potential viewers.
I will, however, say that some of this movie genuinely scared me. The actress playing Nell, Ashley Bell, is extremely talented and when she goes into full-on demon mode, it is creepy as hell. I jumped several times during the movie. It's not as frantic as you would expect it to be with the fake documentary stuff going on. In fact, there are some beautiful shots in the film. Running around still causes the shaky effect, but fortunately, this is a rarity. Calmness is all that is needed for a good scare sometimes.
Now, onto the problems. While I appreciate any film that exercises the scenario of regaining lost faith, The Last Exorcism really milks it for all it's worth and is sadly predictable in that area. When the big moment of realization comes, it's like a candle in the midst of a blazing inferno (no idea how I made that sound so relevant to the actual events of the film). Which leads me to one of the absolute worst endings to any movie in history. It is such a letdown. It leaves a million questions unanswered and left me just gaping at the screen, in awe of its idiocy. I almost cursed out loud until I realized that someone behind me just had. I simply hung my head and walked out of the screening room.
But I perked up as I thought about the rest of what I had just seen. It is not a bad movie at all. It is scary, as it is meant to be, and it is troubling. It made me think, which I expect certain movies to do. True, comparisons to The Exorcist could be made. If this is the "last" exorcism, that could certainly be considered the "first". It also steals tidbits from a movie I mentioned earlier, The Blair Witch Project. But on the whole, The Last Exorcism is a good horror experience, somewhat original and without question a step up from a lot of the other crap being put out nowadays.
Score: :):):)1/2
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Devil
Don't call it a comeback but don't turn your back on it, either (you might get bitten)
Now that my Shyamalan Recap is out of the way, we can get to his new and best film in a while, Devil. I was sitting through the trailers before Inception when I first saw the trailer for Devil and it caught my attention until I saw the words "From the mind of M. Night Shyamalan". At that point I completely cracked up and lost interest. Maybe that was the wrong reaction, but after Lady in the Water and The Happening, can you really blame me? Shyamalan has really fallen as a director/writer in the course of 8 years (the last movie of his that I enjoyed was Signs). Thankfully, Devil is watchable. It definitely is not great AT ALL but it's not terrible and that's a glaring recommendation, all things considered.
Maybe the reason that Devil is better than the average Shyamalan film is that he did not direct it. That task was left to the Dowdle brothers, who know how to use darkness to their advantage. That's where the films creepiest scenes take place; I never knew what was going to be lurking when the lights came back on. Whatever it was was consistently bad, as in bite marks and corpses. When the first elevator passenger perishes, it's in quite a disturbing fashion. The violence only escalates from there. The movie barely escapes being R-rated and I suspect that had a few more "fucks" been thrown in, it would have gotten it.
But the movie, even with all that violence, is not really suspenseful. Sure, it's scary every now and then, but everyone that took the time to see it knew that a twist was coming. After all, Shyamalan DID write it. We didn't quite know what it was, but we knew it was coming, and that kind of made the big reveal at the end lose its impact. Oh yeah, and about that reveal: it completely loses its impact because it is fucking stupid. It is dead on arrival, and I mean that in more ways than one (my choice of words there was so ironic). Shyamalan cheats so bad in crafting this particular twist that it makes me want to go to Hollywood, pull him out of his house, and slap the shit out of him. It squanders what little potential the movie had in being good and instead lowers it down to the barely decent level.
The acting is not of particular notability. Great performances are not required in a film like this, even though it would have been nice to see one standout performance. If I had to pick one, I'd say Chris Messina I suppose, but who really cares? Well, there is one other person that caught my attention toward the end of the movie, but to tell that person's name would be to give away the twist (*SPOILER BELOW*). None of the other actors are doing anything special beyond what they are required to do, which is stand there and act scared.
When I got done watching Devil, I let out a huge sigh of relief. I thought that it would be just the vilest thing I had ever watched, but I was wrong. It is marginally entertaining and gives me hope for the next movie in his "Night Chronicles", whatever the hell those are (and I know that they are a series of three movies that he is working on before anybody starts). It could be just my overwhelming desire to see another good Shyamalan movie that forced me to halfway enjoy Devil. It could be that. But halfway enjoy it I did. It's an extremely flawed movie with some dumbass scenes and an unintelligent conclusion, but there is some good in there somewhere. I dug deep and I found it. I hope you can do the same.
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***SPOILER ALERT*** Jenny O'Hara, who plays the Old Woman (as she is labeled in the credits), is the devil and she is creepy. ***SPOILER ALERT END***
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Manic
Was this movie made specifically for me?
I don't care what any of the big critics said about Manic; I watched this movie for the first time recently and I really, really enjoyed it, mainly because I could identify with it. I am a schizophrenic myself and this movie absolutely nails what it is to go through something like this. It does the smart thing by focusing on each of the character's emotions and not just their look. The main thing that I've seen that the critics are bitching about is the fact that the camera is "shaky" and that it's obvious this was Jordan Melamed's first picture. The shakiness never really distracted me, maybe because I didn't pay it any attention, and for this to be someone's first movie, I am impressed. His first movie? Are you kidding me? Wow.
The acting is good across the board. It might seem obvious to do this, but I will say that the best performances are by the three biggest stars of the film, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Zooey Deschanel, and Don Cheadle. Gordon-Levitt and Deschanel also starred together in (500) Days of Summer, another great movie. But Manic is the exact opposite of that movie. It's (500) Days of Bummer, if you will. Anyway, the two play off of each other in this movie just as they did in that one and it's quite effective. Cheadle is also pretty good, and even great in one key scene that I can recall. It's the scene where he finally snaps and gives Gordon-Levitt's character, Lyle, the therapy that he'd needed the whole time.
Sure, Manic isn't the best movie ever made, but calling it a bad movie? Come on now. It is not bad. It has several flaws, most of them coming from the somewhat reserved script, but nothing that is terrible. I think that sometimes critics just don't pay attention to anything. I know that they actually do because it's a part of their job description, but sometimes they can be ridiculous. I don't know. All I know is, I liked Manic and I don't care if anybody else did.
Score: :D:D:D:D1/2
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The Orphanage
Kids are creepy
Guillermo del Toro is one of my favorite directors in the history of cinema, so when I heard that he was getting involved with this film, The Orphanage, I knew I had to see it. I just recently found out that he was only a producer for the film and that it was actually being directed by a first-time filmmaker, Juan Antonio Bayona. After just now finishing the movie, I can say WHAT?! THIS WAS HIS FIRST TIME MAKING A MOVIE?! Wow. That is incredible.
And it's all because of the script, which is masterful. It weaves a tale of love, horror, and tragedy into one of the scariest movies I've seen in quite some time--quite possibly the scariest of the decade. I already have a bad habit of biting my nails but, Good Lord, I think I gnawed off my skin. I probably should not have watched this movie at night because now I may not be able to sleep. It's seriously THAT terrifying. And I love it.
Belén Rueda is terrific, just terrific, as Laura, a woman who, along with her husband, Carlos (Fernando Cayo), purchases the orphanage that she used to live in as a child with plans to remodel and reopen it. Soon after she arrives her son, Simón (Roger Príncep) starts talking about a new friend that he's made named Tomás. Laura simply waves this off as Simón making up an imaginary friend. But then strange things start happening around the orphanage. Simón disappears. Laura starts hearing strange noises in the house. She sees a boy wearing a creepy-looking burlap sack on his head. Laura starts to believe that she may never see her son again, and that maybe Tomás wasn't so imaginary after all.
Remember how much I hated the ending to the last movie I reviewed, The Life Before Her Eyes? Well, the ending of The Orphanage is like a polar opposite to that movie. It is fucking awesome. It captures perfectly a parent's love for their child and I cried and I'm not ashamed to admit that. But I warn you: it is also extremely, extremely disturbing. The picture that it paints will haunt your memories. This film is rated R for a reason. There isn't a lot of profanity ("fuck" may have been used a few times but I can't recall when) and there isn't a lot of blood. But there are some truly grotesque and unnatural sights to behold, all of which are unpleasant and some even sad, just as in del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth, my favorite movie.
Unfortunately, there are some things that just don't click together right. Who is the boy in the burlap sack that Laura sees at the party? This is never really made clear to us. Why is Laura so concerned with fixing up this place? I know she lived there as a child, but why do it now? I wish the movie had gotten into the story behind that a little better. Also, I noticed a glaring error very close to the end that I will not be mentioning here because I'd rather not ruin it for anyone. It comes right before the most depressing scene in the film.
Still, this movie rocks. Bayona should be very proud of his first attempt. He has created a near-perfect horror movie that everyone should seek out. It shocked me, made me think, and drew me in. I am predicting a good career for Mr. Bayona.
Score: :D:D:D:D1/2
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The Life Before Her Eyes
An ending so stupid that even M. Night Shyamalan was laughing
The ending of a movie can either make it or break it and, in the case of The Life Before Her Eyes, the ending strangulates it, leaves it gasping for air, and then shoots it in the face with a rocket launcher. If I wanted to see a film with a surprise twist that was this terrible, I would have watched any of M. Night Shyamalan's movies outside of The Sixth Sense. I was certainly expecting more out of a Vadim Perelman movie as I had already seen his House of Sand and Fog, a great movie starring Jennifer Connelly and Ben Kingsley that everyone should seek out. I am now going to attempt to find some sunshine among this shit cloud of a script, so bear with me.
There is some great stuff here, as in the performance from Evan Rachel Wood and a lot of the cinematography, which is gorgeous in most instances, but there is some bad stuff too, as in the preachy tone of the film (I don't need to be told that abortion is bad; I'm quite aware), the repetitive bathroom scene (for God's sake, how many times do I have to hear an emo kid saying "No, I'm only gonna kill one of you"?), and Uma Thurman's performance (she's not really trying). The one scene that stands out in my mind is a montage of what I'm going to call "ugliness" which really pierced me and was honestly the best thing in the entire movie. It's simply random shots of stuff like rotting fruit, messy bedrooms, and dead things, and it's great. And call me a pussy if you want, but I can think of two scenes at least that overwhelmed me with sadness (not the ending, obviously). One was the bathroom scene (the very first one). I'm always touched by films about school shootings, but there are better ones out there (Elephant, Bowling for Columbine, Empire Falls).
The sad thing is I sort of saw that final twist coming. I suppose that I was just hoping that I was wrong and that nothing that idiotic could ever be included in any movie, ever, but alas, it was. And it's a shame. It made an already immensely flawed movie much worse. I was going to pass this film but after pondering over it for a bit, I have come to the conclusion that I will never be watching it ever again and that I truly somewhat hated it, ladies and gentlemen. I prefer my movies to make a little more sense.
Note: I will reveal the ending of the film below for those people who may be interested.
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***SPOILER ALERT*** About the ending: Basically, it is revealed that the Uma Thurman part of the movie was just Evan Rachel Wood's character's imagination of what her life would be like when she grew up. However, she does not grow up because we find out that she actually died in the bathroom after being shot. That's right, the whole "Uma Thurman" thing is not even real; it's make-believe. How utterly satisfying if you are utterly satisfied by utter shit. ***SPOILER ALERT END***
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Machete
Gory, ridiculous, and good
Danny Trejo. Michelle Rodriguez. Jessica Alba. Steven Seagal. Jeff Fahey. Cheech Marin. Lindsay Lohan. And Robert De Niro. If that seems like an unlikely list of people to star in the same movie, well, here's Machete, and it has all of them in it. It is directed by Ethan Maniquis and Robert Rodriguez. This is Maniquis's first film; Rodriquez has made some good movies (Sin City, Spy Kids) and ones that I would rather not see again (The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D, Shorts) The screenplay was written by Rodriguez and his cousin, Alvaro (he did the music for his cousin's film El mariachi).
Machete aims for one thing and one thing only: to make people laugh. And what can I say? I did. I didn't like fall out in the floor laughing at anything, but a lot of scenes made me roll my eyes and then snicker. But underneath all that fun lies a very serious study of American politics. It might even strike some nerves, but there's no denying its intent. It overplays border policy in such a way as to make someone go, "You know, maybe we should lighten up a little."
I'm not going to comment on the plot because honestly there's no reason. It's quite silly to be honest. It's supposed to be. I will, however, get into the performances, because believe it or not, there's good stuff here. If Danny Trejo does not get more attention after playing Machete, then somebody somewhere is an idiot. He hits all the right notes in this role. The best performance in the film belongs to Michelle Rodriguez, who is acutally trying very hard to go beyond the script and do good work. A complete opposite of these two would be Steven Seagal who is not trying and should not in any way try because I loved him in this movie and he was purposefully terrible. Robert De Niro and Jeff Fahey also caught my attention. Lindsay Lohan is instantly forgettable. Jessica Alba is not good at all and it had nothing to do with the script or the movie.
Is Machete good? I'm not quite sure that that's the question to be asking. It's going to come down to whether or not people get it. If they don't, they're probably taking it too seriously. If they do and still don't like it, they're probably not taking it seriously enough. It's just one of those kinds of movies. I enjoyed it myself. I thought it was very fun.
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Inception
The movie of my dreams, figuratively and literally
What is a dream? Can one define it? Merriam-Webster calls it "a series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep". On a basic level, that's correct. But what about what's contained in the dream itself? Dreams are different for each individual, but according to scientific studies, they all have a particular meaning. What is this meaning? Can our dreams control us? Can we control them?
Inception attempts to answer these and many more questions. And, for my money, it's an absolute masterpiece. I haven't been forced to think about or reflect on my life like this in any film in recent memory. Each scene has an deep underlying message that will get to you if you allow it to. Questions such as "Are you as special as you think you are?" may pop into your mind. That's what I was thinking. I'm nothing in a world of dreamers.
In case that doesn't interest you, maybe this will: Inception is extremely effective as an action movie. Well, of course it is, you're thinking. Christopher Nolan directed it. But if you thought those scenes in The Dark Knight were something, wait until you see Inception. It will blow your mind. The zero gravity hotel scene is just incredible. Many millions of dollars went into these shots.
What? You're still not satisfied? Well, the movie ALSO WORKS AS A DRAMA! The back stories of all the characters, especially Dom Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio), are truly, truly engaging and, in some cases (Cobb's), heartbreaking. This is one of the few movies that have made me cry. The very last scene is what did me in.
Kudos to DiCaprio for another outstanding portrayal. He is great. But then again, I could say the same for Ellen Page, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ken Watanabe, and Cillian Murphy. In fact, if you can find one bad performance in Inception, I'd like you to tell me because I couldn't. I'd wager that there isn't one. The least noticeable is Dileep Rao as Yusef, but was he bad? I do not think so. And don't forget the other big stars that have small roles: Marion Cotillard as Mal, Dom's wife, and Michael Caine as Miles, his father-in-law. Neither of them are giving any less than good.
It is a gorgeous film, so splendidly well-done and thought-out. It is without a doubt the best movie I have seen this year and the best I have seen since my favorite movie, Pan's Labyrinth. The Dark Knight? After seeing Inception, I'm almost inclined (almost) to say, "Bruce Wayne? Who's that?" But I won't because next to Let the Right One In, TDK was the best movie of 2008. So I'll just let my defense rest on the fact that in 2010, "Inception" reigns supreme, and I doubt any movie this year will surpass it, not even The Kids Are All Right, which I am DYING to see.
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The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Loses some bite but still doesn't suck
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is close to being an absolute disaster, so focused on breaking away from the previous two installments that it's actually worse than both of those movies and I am extremely disappointed because Eclipse is my favorite book in Stephanie Meyer's poorly-written saga. There is just so much laziness going on in this movie, so much "Oh, don't go past the PG-13 rating" and the near complete lack of blood in a VAMPIRE film that I wanted to bash my head into the popcorn machine in the lobby. And oh my gosh that stupid, vapid, Grey's Anatomy-wanna-be love triangle! It was the worst thing about the first two movies and it's still present here on top of all the other crap!
But, despite my bashing of the movie, it's not terrible. The action sequences are good and reasonably well-made (even though no one will accuse this of being even remotely on Harry Potter's level). Some of them are really exciting (until you see vampires being snapped apart in porcelain doll fashion, which is dumb). The werewolves still look fake but they're not as bad as they were in New Moon. They actually have emotions this time. In other words, they look better than the ones in Blood & Chocolate, but not as good as the ones in Underworld.
The acting is TERRIBLE outside of Kristen Stewart and the hardly-noticeable Anna Kendrick. Robert Pattinson needs to learn what anger is and quit confusing it with jubilation and Taylor Lautner should be unemployed and would be if he didn't have great abs. I'm a better actor than Lautner, but he could take me in a beauty competition, which is really all that matters in his role as Jacob Black. Even so, LEAVE THE DAMN SHIRT ON. The only reason you take it off is so people won't notice your donkey teeth and the fact that you were Shark Boy.
When the credits rolled, I got up, walked out of the theater, and realized that I didn't hate Eclipse as much as I initially did while watching it. It's honestly not terrible. But it is a letdown. It is a major, major letdown. This was supposed to be like, totally, like, OMG, the best film in all of the history times. Instead, it becomes a film that I have already forgotten about as this review concludes. Now, I have to wait for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Now THERE'S something to get giddy over. Oh, and when does the next episode of TruBlood come on?
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Paranoid Park
Another movie about teenage angst, but it's worth the watch
Paranoid Park is a really good movie, one that did not get much attention upon its release but certainly deserved much more. It tells the story of a teenager named Jake who loves skateboarding and commits an accidental murder and attempts to cover up his involvement in it. The movie gives us a glimpse into his everyday life, which could be boring had Gus Van Sant not directed it. Van Sant's most famous film is probably Good Will Hunting, but in that movie he aimed more for the extraordinary and I personally prefer his focus on the simple, as in Paranoid Park and another great achievement of his, Elephant. A lot of comparisons can be drawn between the two, especially in the way they both offer insight on things like teenage angst and the line between what should and shouldn't be done.
And boy, does Jake make a boo-boo. He is illegally hanging off the side of a train while it is in motion and when a security guard tries to stop him, he hits him in the head with his skateboard. This causes the guard to fall onto another parallel train track, where he is ran over by another train, which cuts him in half. We are shown in graphic detail the aftermath of this. I would advise anyone with a weak stomach to skip this particular scene. It made even me shudder.
Anyway, a detective shows up at Jake's school and he wants answers. He knows that some of the students from the school like skateboarding and that some of them go to Paranoid Park, a skateboard park not far from the track where the security guard's body was found. Jake is freaked out by this news and pretty soon, the detective wants to question him. He has an alibi to cover his tracks, but he suspects that the detective doesn't believe him. The detective tells him not to worry, but he does nonetheless. His paranoia provides the foundation for the film.
But so does his day-to-day activities. Jake is not a bad young man at all. His parents are separated and contemplating divorce. His girlfriend is pretty but a bit of drama queen. He also figures that since she's a virgin, she'll someday want sex so she can call somebody and brag about it. He has a best friend who's also into skating. He likes to write. He's a mysterious boy; a thinker before he's a speaker. All that seems mundane and uninteresting, but doesn't it at the same time feel fresh and exciting?
The acting is nothing to write home to mom about. In both Elephant and this film, Gus Van Sant got real teenagers from almost literally right off the street to portray the characters. Gabe Nevins as Jake is not bad at all, but it's obvious that he's not experienced, either. Remember in Gran Torino how Clint Eastwood hired those lesser-known actors to star alongside him and then blew them all off the screen? That's how Paranoid Park feels. Jake is the centerpiece, and so is Nevins as him, and everybody else doesn't matter. That's the impression I got.
But the acting isn't the only reason that it isn't perfect. Van Sant just doesn't know what to do with a script sometimes. His dialogue and setting both feel genuine and unforced, but the payoff from some interactions between the characters do not and I wish that the ending had been a little clearer about Jake's fate. I understand that he meant to end the movie on that note but Elephant ended on a similar note and it was also intentional and it felt right, but in Paranoid Park, it does not. It makes it seem as if a Paranoid Park 2 is on the way and I highly doubt that.
But I enjoyed the first well enough. It is chock-full of realism. It's beautifully shot and edited. Had I seen it in 2007, when it was released, I would have easily called it one of the better movies of the year. It's not as good as Good Will Hunting or Elephant, but without one shred of reluctance I say that it's worth the watch. Hunt it down at your local video store or on Netflix and check it out.
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