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QUICKIE REVIEWS - All reviews by Caleb Acker (with a second opinion by Buddy Acker)
Paranormal Activity 2
A disgrace to the original
Ok, I’m not going to waste much time on this. This is one of the worst movies I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. It spits right in the face of the original film. It starts out with people talking and that takes place most of the movie. When something did actually happen, the audience was so zoned out that they didn’t even care. It sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Score: Zero
Jackass 3D
Eh......ewww
I watched this movie three times while it was in movie theaters. The first time happened to be my first 3D movie experience. I enjoyed myself. The second time was in a drive-in and it wasn’t anything special. The third time it was extremely annoying and stupid. I have always been told that if you watch a movie 3 times and it gets old then it’s nothing special. Then again, whoever said anything special would ever come from the Jackass franchise deserves a swift kick in the head. It would be perfect for a bachelor party setting. I just wouldn’t recommend watching it while you snuggle with your loved ones. Also, do not digest any food before viewing unless you want to be cleaning the carpet later.
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1/2
SECOND OPINION - Review by Buddy Acker
I honestly did not think that Jackass 3D was bad. It has bad moments, such as a man eating an apple while it is lodged in a pig's asscheeks, but it also has some very funny scenes, such as the attempts by the members of the Jackass crew to stand behind a jet engine. However, I would suggest that Johnny Knoxville hang it up at this point. Jackass has become extremely predictable and Knoxville has already proven himself to be a capable actor in other mediums. Move on, sir. But if this is their attempt to say goodbye, well, they may not have went out with a bang, but there is still a strange hint of sadness in my heart for some reason.
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Burlesque
Cher still has it
I am a huge Cher fan and when I heard she was in this movie I wanted to see it. However, when I heard the news that Stanley Tucci was also in it, I knew I had to. It did not disappoint. The movie starts off slow with Aguilera working in a diner complaining about her life. She then leaves the diner in search of her true calling. She rents an apartment in New York City. After a day of disappointing job searches, she ends up at a nightclub named Burlesque where she meets the owner, played by Cher, and her assistant, played by Tucci. She begins work there as a waitress. She auditions to become a showgirl. From this point on the movie doesn’t slow down. It is truly a fantastic film and I do not think it got the attention it deserved.
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Morning Glory
Beyond glorious
Strangely enough this was one of the movies I was truly excited to see. Now I know why. This was an exceptional movie. Harrison Ford is the best thing about it. He still has a few good ones in him. Rachel McAdams is great as the main star. Diane Keaton also plays a great role. This movie teaches a valuable lesson: never give up. There is always a light at the end of every tunnel.
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For Colored Girls
A messy adaptation of a great poem
I have always been a fan of Tyler Perry’s work. With a cast that is composed of Whoopi Goldberg, Loretta Divine, Phylicia Rashad, Kimberly Elise, Macy Gray, and Janet Jackson, there is no way this movie could have gone wrong, right? WRONG! The many separate plots in and of themselves were decent. However, the lack of time with the cast is ridiculous. That is exactly the reason why there can’t be several main characters in a movie. Goldberg was only involved in the movie twice. Jackson only showed four times. The rest of the cast is barely introduced. The only thing For Colored Girls has going for it is the drama. At points in the movie, I literally had to take deep breaths to stop from suffocating. I respect Tyler Perry for finally crossing the line with his films. If this would have had one particularly interesting character or a focused plotline, it would have been considered a classic in my view. However, since it doesn’t do a great job of establishing characters and it sways back and forth until the end of the film, I can’t quite recommend it.
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1/2
Categories: None
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